When to Draw the Line, for me

Just so you all know, this entry is being written to myself. The last 3.5 years haven't been what I would call good times. To be honest, they have really sucked porpoise peters. Yes that was crude but this is an entry to me. Live with it. So, I have had open heart surgery, sternum plating, removal of the plating, thumb surgery, elbow surgery and I destroyed my leg in a fall. If we step back in time before that, the arthritis in my body has raised all sorts of hell. Breaking my tailbone in 2007 still pains me today. My L-4 and 5 are trash which can  cause pains to shoot down my leg with such force that I kick like a pissed off mule. I have 2 discs in my mid back that are physically compressing my spinal cord, which while standing for any amount of time, hurts like there is no tomorrow. Life really sucks. It hurts to sit. It hurts to stand. It hurts to lay down. I am running out of ways to do anything. As hard as I try and want to be able to do things, my body laughs in my face and says "good luck with that asshole"!

So, where does that leave me? FUBAR comes to mind. I landed myself a fairly decent job here in Salt Lake at the new Amazon warehouse. I had high hopes for working for them and living happily ever after. I started tonight in the sorting department. It was a simple job of removing an order from a tote and placing it in the boxing mail box. Once  persons order had arrived in full, the folks on the other side of the mailbox could package the order and send it to shipping. Simple, easy job. I picked it up super-fast and was doing really well. After 45 minutes, the pains began become quite noticeable. After 2 hours I was wanting to die. At the 6 hour mark, I couldn't take it anymore. It felt like I was being stabbed in my back. I resigned from Amazon tonight. The drive home was miserable because it hurt so bad and because I failed. Some have insinuated that I just don't want to work. Whatever! To be able to live life one has to be able to work. I just can't do it anymore. I can't sit for more than 10 minutes and standing is about the same. 10 minutes go buy and the fire begins in my back. I hate my life. As for drawing the line, tonight was the final straw. I have been told by quite a few people to apply for social security disability. You people win. I am going to go find a lawyer to take the case on and see where I come out. I don't want to but what choices are left? I would love to try and get certified as a coder in web page building. You can work out of your home which would be a good thing. Will it happen? With my luck, we all know the answer. So, the line is drawn and who knows what is going to happen. Jeep on my friends!